Seriously, why do people have so much of interest in other people’s family planning? As if relatives were not enough, leg-pulling friends and random people have hopped onto the bandwagon as well. Sometimes I wonder if the sole purpose of getting married is to be become a licensed child-producing machine.
In my opinion, whether to or when to have a child is a very private matter. But unfortunately, it is, too, a private and most interesting topic for all the Aunties I encounter. How irritating is that when you meet some random Aunty for the first time and she asks in a chirpy voice, “So when are you giving the good news? Are you planning or have you not thought about it at all?” My silent voice says, “Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh”. Usually I say, “Not planning now.” But off-late I am giving different responses. I flash my best smile and say, “No comments!” or “I can give you a good news right away but depends what kind of good news you want to hear!” And sometimes I respond in an astonished tone, “Good news? What good news?”
Sometimes such a Aunty (sometimes a Uncle too!) would point to a child and say, “You also bring a tiny one like this.” And my silent voice says, “Yeah, next time I shall bring a random child along. After all, I just need to “bring” a child”. Aunties-in-law say, “We want a little one to play with. You just give birth, we will look after the baby.” My silent voice now (along with silent eye-rolling), “As if!!!!”
Then there are the young and new mothers. They would huff and puff with their crying bundles, share their owes and then ask the FAQ with a sweet smile. My silent voice then, “Oh! They are just jealous that I am not miserable with crying babies.” Off-late, my friends (yes, the guys too) have started to mime the FAQ.
So what’s the good news? The good news is winter is here. The good news is I took a vacation. The good news is I am doing well professionally. The good news is I am reading an awesome book. The good news is I have been blessed with an amazing family. The good news is I am happy today. The good news is it’s weekend. As far as the good news you want to hear is concerned, “NO COMMENTS!”
A version of this post was published in Women’s Web on 16th May 2016.